The First Day is Always the Hardest

I will advise those that dare to read this to be prepared to feel sad.
Or maybe you’ll think I’m pathetic for being so sad.

Either way, this post is about feelings.

Being in a long distance relationship really has its ups and downs.

Friday marked 20 months of us being together in a long distance relationship and as we lay on that bed together I said,
“I can’t believe it’s been 20 months.”
“Well, I can. Happy 20th, Andrea.”
“And here’s to 20 more.”

Part of me still can’t believe that we’ve been dating for that amount of time and as I look back on these twenty months, I can see our high points and I can see our lows. From the moment we first kissed to waking up next to each other for the first time, the memories we’ve had are ones that I never want to forget. It also makes me feel super vulnerable and the thought of you leaving scares me so much. But, this fear that I just brought up is not the point of this post.

I guess what I really want to say is people in long distance relationships really have something special that couples that get to see each other on a daily basis don’t have. We don’t get the same opportunities to spend every moment of our day with someone that we love. There’s no immediate feeling of relief when in your time of need. Even when I go to relax, I can’t fully relax without being able to relax with the person that I love. The love that we share is something that is truly unique and can’t be explained to another person. People are always happy for us to see each other after some amount of time of being away from one another, but I don’t think they understand how happy we really are to see each other. The time that we get to share with one another is special and are almost as precious as the memories shared between us.

The first day away from you is always the hardest. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. It’s being able to get back on track to accept the distance and look forward to seeing each other again that is hard. Part of me thinks that the only way we can put an end to these sort of feelings is if we just move in together. That way, we can’t be apart. But that’s a whole other story that we’ll just have to figure out in the future.

EDIT: I realize that moving in together is a big step forward and I’ve been thinking about this and I thought the best alternative is if we could see each other on a more consistent daily basis. That will probably help ease the pain the most.

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